Have you had sex?"Shit. Miranda in fact knew her too well. The woman, five years her senior, had become her best - and only - friend over a short stint at the company where Helen had worked, and had since been with her through the highs and lows of her life, consoling her after failed relationships and helping her get through the death of her parents. She’d been a life savior more than once, a real friend - but also one with a high level of curiosity, one that wouldn’t take no for an answer.Helen finally stuttered, "yes, no, not exactly," and instantly knew that this was the wrong thing to say."That," Miranda’s voice was now dripping with sarcasm, "makes me really curios. How do you not exactly have sex?"Helen tried to come up with a plausible story, but an instant later Miranda was already babbling away again."Never mind, I talked to Erica from the gym yesterday, and she told me some interesting news about the Miller’s. I’ll bring lunch and get you up to date with the newest. I recently had gynaecological surgery and can only have sex with men who have average-size genitalia. Maybe you could come back in about six months?” Paul cursed his tendency to speak first and think later. “Ah, Danny, make that the average-sized genitalia condoms. Okay?” Danny asked if Paul wanted to get a measurement to make sure. “Not in my store you don’t,” said the woman stocking shelves. “Danny, you know the rules. You can’t get naked in the store, you can’t have sex in the store, and you can’t encourage customers to get naked in the store. If the customer gets naked on his own, that’s fine. If the customer gets naked on her own, that’s fine and call me if she’s good looking.” Danny looked crestfallen. “Yes, Lydia, I know the rules.” Lucy was laughing her ass off. “Look, fella, whoever you are, this is my sister’s store.” She gestured at the boss who had been stocking shelves. “Lydia has rules and you either follow them or you get fucked. That’s not the fun kind of fucked,.
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